This week we talked a lot about conflict resolution.
One of our assignments was to watch the 2006 movie The Guardian, starring Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. Honestly? I didn't know I would ever have so many feelings about the U.S. Coast Guard. This movie was very powerful, and I'm glad we were required to watch it this week. I had honestly never heard of it, and I knew nothing about it.
There were several different types of conflict in this film, and it was good to be able to look at all the different types, as well as how the characters attempted to resolve them.
One of the most ineffective types of conflict resolution that we were able to observe was the conflict shown between the Coast Guard and the Navy. In the film, two of the characters go to a predominantly "Navy" bar. One of the characters, Billy, gets drunk and starts boasting about how great the Coast Guard is and how much the Navy needs them. Now obviously, the Navy doesn't take kindly to this. They get into a bar fight. A++ conflict resolution right there if you ask me.
The most effective type of conflict resolution in the this film was communication. Ben and Jake have a lot of conflict at the beginning. Ben feels that Jake is just cocky and full of himself, a real smart-mouth type. He constantly pushes Jake, trying to get him to engage with the other members of his class and to really determine the kind of person he wants to be and what he's going to do. Ben knows that he will have lots of difficult decisions to make in the future and he wants him to become the best he can be. In his roundabout way, that's what Ben wants for all of the students. He knows what it's like out there and he's trying to help them. But he and Jake really butt heads over it. It really isn't until later in the film when Ben and Jake finally have a conversation (it actually happens to be the night of the bar fight). Ben really makes an effort to listen to Jake and to understand where he is coming from and why he is here. After that night, the two of them really have a much better understanding of each other and they are able to resolve their conflicts and become friends.
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One of our team activities this week was to actually define conflict. I defined conflict as "some sort of serious argument or disagreement that causes friction between two (or more) people." Another member of my group simply defined conflict as "a problem." I think that there are many different ways to define conflict, but like that group member stated, put simply, the root definition of conflict is a problem. We also had to define assertive and aggressive communication and give examples of each.
My favorite definition of assertive communication came from one of the other members of my group. She defined it as "standing up for yourself but doing so in a way that does not trespass on the rights of others and respects your own rights and feelings and the rights and feelings of others. When you communicate assertively, you communicate honestly but appropriately."
On the other hand, aggressive communication does not take into account the rights/thoughts/feelings of others, and is often harsh and disrespectful.
I really liked this graphic that I found about assertive versus aggressive communication, I think it made it really easy to visualize and understand.
Our group came to the conclusion that conflict is some sort of problem/argument/disagreement/etc. Aggressive communication is an ineffective way to resolve conflict, and it hurts more than it helps. Assertive communication takes into account the other person's feelings. When you communicate assertively, you communicate your point confidently and honestly, but respectfully. You can express your feelings, but try not to use blaming or aggressive language. The most effective way to resolve conflict is by going to the person you are experiencing conflict with. If that doesn't work, take it to the direct supervisor (charge nurse, instructor, etc.).
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I think that talking about conflict is really important. We will all experience conflict at some point in our lives, and it's important to know the most effective ways to handle it. I don't think I had ever heard the term "assertive communication" before, but none of it was a foreign concept to me. I know from personal experience that there are effective and ineffective ways to resolve conflict. In the past, when I have friends or coworkers that I disagree with, I have found that if I express myself in a way that communicates my feelings without blaming the other person (i.e. saying "I've been feeling frustrated lately" as opposed to "you have been making me angry/frustrated lately"). Blaming language only puts the other person on the defensive and makes it difficult (if not impossible) to resolve conflict.
One of our assignments was to watch the 2006 movie The Guardian, starring Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. Honestly? I didn't know I would ever have so many feelings about the U.S. Coast Guard. This movie was very powerful, and I'm glad we were required to watch it this week. I had honestly never heard of it, and I knew nothing about it.
There were several different types of conflict in this film, and it was good to be able to look at all the different types, as well as how the characters attempted to resolve them.
One of the most ineffective types of conflict resolution that we were able to observe was the conflict shown between the Coast Guard and the Navy. In the film, two of the characters go to a predominantly "Navy" bar. One of the characters, Billy, gets drunk and starts boasting about how great the Coast Guard is and how much the Navy needs them. Now obviously, the Navy doesn't take kindly to this. They get into a bar fight. A++ conflict resolution right there if you ask me.
The most effective type of conflict resolution in the this film was communication. Ben and Jake have a lot of conflict at the beginning. Ben feels that Jake is just cocky and full of himself, a real smart-mouth type. He constantly pushes Jake, trying to get him to engage with the other members of his class and to really determine the kind of person he wants to be and what he's going to do. Ben knows that he will have lots of difficult decisions to make in the future and he wants him to become the best he can be. In his roundabout way, that's what Ben wants for all of the students. He knows what it's like out there and he's trying to help them. But he and Jake really butt heads over it. It really isn't until later in the film when Ben and Jake finally have a conversation (it actually happens to be the night of the bar fight). Ben really makes an effort to listen to Jake and to understand where he is coming from and why he is here. After that night, the two of them really have a much better understanding of each other and they are able to resolve their conflicts and become friends.
One of our team activities this week was to actually define conflict. I defined conflict as "some sort of serious argument or disagreement that causes friction between two (or more) people." Another member of my group simply defined conflict as "a problem." I think that there are many different ways to define conflict, but like that group member stated, put simply, the root definition of conflict is a problem. We also had to define assertive and aggressive communication and give examples of each.
My favorite definition of assertive communication came from one of the other members of my group. She defined it as "standing up for yourself but doing so in a way that does not trespass on the rights of others and respects your own rights and feelings and the rights and feelings of others. When you communicate assertively, you communicate honestly but appropriately."
On the other hand, aggressive communication does not take into account the rights/thoughts/feelings of others, and is often harsh and disrespectful.
I really liked this graphic that I found about assertive versus aggressive communication, I think it made it really easy to visualize and understand.
Our group came to the conclusion that conflict is some sort of problem/argument/disagreement/etc. Aggressive communication is an ineffective way to resolve conflict, and it hurts more than it helps. Assertive communication takes into account the other person's feelings. When you communicate assertively, you communicate your point confidently and honestly, but respectfully. You can express your feelings, but try not to use blaming or aggressive language. The most effective way to resolve conflict is by going to the person you are experiencing conflict with. If that doesn't work, take it to the direct supervisor (charge nurse, instructor, etc.).
I think that talking about conflict is really important. We will all experience conflict at some point in our lives, and it's important to know the most effective ways to handle it. I don't think I had ever heard the term "assertive communication" before, but none of it was a foreign concept to me. I know from personal experience that there are effective and ineffective ways to resolve conflict. In the past, when I have friends or coworkers that I disagree with, I have found that if I express myself in a way that communicates my feelings without blaming the other person (i.e. saying "I've been feeling frustrated lately" as opposed to "you have been making me angry/frustrated lately"). Blaming language only puts the other person on the defensive and makes it difficult (if not impossible) to resolve conflict.
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